Truth Is ~ Tuesday

Ok so here you have it.... The truth the way I am seeing things on this Tuesday night..... No holding back just saying what comes to my mind for the next 5  15 minutes ( I kind of had a lot to say) .....
Ready ~ Set ~ Go

I am frustrated tonight very very frustrated.... I thought our homestudy was almost done... This is basically all we are waiting for on our end.... Our social worker said we had an approved home study and now I find out our adoption agency is wanting to talk with our social worker her email read like this...

"I noted a number of items in my home study review that I felt needed clarification.  I want to make certain that you and your husband are fully prepared for your adoption before we move forward.  I’ll give you a call after I have spoken with Cara and let you know where we stand.  Thank you for your patience."

Ok I have no idea what any of this means and I am a little freaking out!! This email brought me to tears.... Tomorrow you had better believe tomorrow I will get tot he bottom of this!!! What doesn't make since is our home study agency here in Indiana has approved our home study.... This email is coming from the adoption agency in Texas... The people who have our dossier.... We have been working on our home study since August..... August people... That's a long time!! It should be done.....

As I was crying my eyes out tonight... Zach (gotta love him) says to me all in gods timing i guess god isn't ready for our home study to be complete.... I know all about gods timing and fully believe in god's timing but tonight I wasn't having it!!

I really have no idea what this lady is meaning when she says fully prepared for our adoption.... HELLO Big Red Truck... We have been to the 3rd world 3 times now and are planning on going back in May... We are reading any adoption book we can get our hands on... We are attending adoption conferences... We are having Haiti Days at home to learn/ teach our boys more about Haiti... We are talking to other adoptive parents... We are fundraising.... Our kids rooms are ready for them beds toys clothes  there rooms are ready they could come home tomorrow.... What else would she like us to do??? Truth is we would probably do whatever she told us to as it is the ransom for our children... That is just the cost of getting them home.... Someday there will be no more ransom someday they will be our children and they will be home.... But until that day we will continue to pay the ransom.... jump through hoops.... all for the sake of our children.

Zach and I are so so ready for this thing to be done.... Its harder than being pregnant.... It truly is the hardest thing we have ever done! Nothing that I can think of can compare to what this feels like...

**Sigh** ~ Deep Breath ~
Holding onto Faith tonight....
Hebrews 11:1 Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen....